mocksieblogs

I think this phase is over.

There are things going on - things in my heart and in my head that a small part of me still would like to write about, but I don't think that this is appropriate any longer. I've been publicly expressing my feelings for 7 years, and I just don't feel right about it anymore.

And besides, hardly anybody reads this, none of my friends blog here anymore, so there's really no point.

I'll be over on myspace maintaining my profile and blog there (consisting largely of surveys plucked from other people that I fill out and post solely to clear my head and kill some time - I don't expect anyone to actually read any of them) if anyone is looking for me. (Be sure to use the last name Spare if you're searching for me.) And my e-mail address is mocksie at optonline dot net if anyone feels like chatting or seeing what's up.

"So with a tear in my eye, we just can't ask why, let's just quickly say... good-bye." ~Mr. Whitehead

FIN

So this is publicly googleable...

The receptionist, Elaine, at the dentist Dr. Roy Ziff, DDS 's office in Westwood, is a complete and utter moron. She is rude, incompetant, and nothing she does makes any sense at all. I am a dental phobe, so it's a big huge hurdle for me to overcome to even make the phonecall for an appointment. Elaine at Dr. Roy Ziff's office has done everything she possibly could have to make the experience worse for me, in every way.

I strongly urge you to seek dental care elsewhere if you are considering Dr. Ziff.

To his credit, I still have not met with the dentist, so I can't comment on Dr. Ziff himself. I will be sure to update this entry with my experience with him after all the work that I have to have done is completed and I have switched to another dentist. (Yes, I plan to switch dentists based on the receptionist alone. She is THAT BAD.)

If anyone searches for Dr. Ziff and finds this page, please feel free to leave a comment on this entry if you would like the details.

It's a major award!

When I was 10 years old, I would sit by my radio and listen to WPLJ for the familiar tones that would signal the beginning of a call-in contest to win tickets to go see New Kids on the Block. I would have the number already dialed and my finger on the redial button. I never forgot the number: 1-800-321-WPLJ. When I heard the tones, it was a race against thousands of other 10 year olds to be caller 95. I never won the New Kids tickets.

Recently, probably because it's the most entertaining thing on the radio during my new commute, I've been listening to WPLJ again. About 3 weeks ago, they started advertising a contest for a Valentine's Day Dance in a pretty banquet hall about 10 minutes away from where Matt and I work. They're making it sound incredibly romantic--- Dinner, dancing, drinks... and Joey McIntyre. Hell yeah, Joey McIntyre from New Kids on the Block.

Since we can't really afford to do anything that nice for Valentine's Day, we started calling in to win the contest. On the commute in to work, we'd both have our fingers dialing after we heard the tones. I've had my radio on at work and if I'm not busy or in a meeting, I'll call and try to win. Yesterday, they were looking for caller 25, and I was caller 24. We've been walking around the apartment taking shifts with the Sansa, with one earbud in and WPLJ on very quietly.

I was 10 years old again, dialing 1-800-321-WPLJ, trying to win tickets to go see a New Kid on the Block.

Today after work, we went to a nice Thai dinner. We had just walked in the door after waiting in the car parking lot for the commercials to end, to make sure we didn't miss the tones. We turned on the radio, the song ended, and they played the tones.

So we called. And we called. And we called.

AND WE WON!

They were looking for caller 24, and caller 24 was Matt.

We're going to get all dressed up fancy, and have a romantic evening with dinner and drinks and slow dancing and fast dancing and meeting people and staying at a hotel because it's so close to work.

I am so excited I could asplode!!!

My mother would have been 53 years old today. We would have taken her out to dinner. I would have bought her a present, and it would be wrapped and on the table, waiting for me to take it when I left here to go to Matawan.

I miss her.

Christmastime! Christmastime! Presents!

Among other awesome things, I got a wedding ring, an authentic talking Pee-Wee straight out of 1989, a 2 gig mp3 player, some racy PJs, some Nintendo DS games, a Betty Crocker Bake 'n' Fill, a rice cooker... and the creme de la creme:

...an authentic Goach bag. Fo realz, yo. RAWK. (Oh, how I hope some snotty rich bitch points and laughs. Please, please, God. Let it happen.)

Merry Christmas!

Your 1996 Theme Song Is: Ironic by Alanis Morisette

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought ... it figures

What's Your 1996 Theme Song?

Every year since I started writing online I've written all the things I am thankful for on Thanksgiving.

Though I am thankful for so much, I'm not going to do that this year.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

You paid attention during 80% of high school!

68-84% Pretty good, you know that there are libraries and newspapers, and you remember what you've read. You were a child that wasn't left behind!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?
Create a Quiz

Congratulations to Stacey ~~Chaiken~~ & Matt Zimmerman!

We've been searching for a long time for something to do over Thanksgiving weekend that will help us take our minds off the fact that my mother isn't there with us. The actual *day* of Thanksgiving is still up in the air, and whatever we do, I'm sure we'll be plenty sad, but. Today I bought some tickets, and at least now we have something to look forward to...

We're going to Buffalo for the weekend. Leave on Friday, come home on Sunday. Relax, see some stuff we've never seen before, check out Niagara Falls...

And go to the World's Largest Disco.

Oh yes. The World's. Largest. Disco. We're gonna dress up and get drunk and Burn Baby, Burn.

Heh. My 10-year high school reunion is that night, and while people I hated spend $110 per person to mingle with other people I hated and awkwardly pretend they liked each other a decade ago while badmouthing each other as soon as the conversation is over and their backs are turned, I am going to be dressed like a friggin' Disco Queen, doing the Hustle. I cannot think of anything cooler.

2 tickets to my high school reunion = $220
2 tickets to World's Largest Disco, and 2 nights in a hotel in Buffalo: $220

Awesome.

WOOOOOOOO!!!!

Let's go Mets!!!

http://hereisnewyork.org/gallery/

I can't believe it's been 5 years.

RIP Crocodile Hunter. :(

This is pretty neat - Rolling Stone Covers

Which is closest to your birthday?

Mine, the day after I was born:

And from the day Matt was born:

I don't know why I find this so hilarious, but I can't stop replaying it and cracking up.

Wedding pics!

Okay, this should work.

I grabbed a bunch of pictures off the professional photographers website.

I uploaded them, and if you feel like taking a look before I make them all pretty and gallery-fied, you can see them here. (Let me know if you can't. You should be able to.)

I am so thrilled with the way they came out. THRILLED.

July 9th, 2006

I woke up, if you can call it that since I slept for maybe an hour and a half altogether, around 8:00 am or so. Showered, drank coffee, ate the bagel that Stacey brought. At 11:00 or so we went to get our fingers and toes done. While we were there, Katie cheated on Ron with Robinson. The slut. After leaving with our nails full of bubbles (never going to that place again), we went to get my flowers.

We had to go to like 3 stores because I was looking for the perfect flowers - sunflowers 'cause I like the way they look, some kinda lilies or something for color, baby's breath to match my crown, and daisies for my mom (her bouquet was daisies when she married my dad). We finally found them at ShopRite. We went home and Katie and I put together my bouquet and tied it with satin ribbon, and put the locket with my mom's pictures inside. The bouquet had double-duty, so I was stressing that it be perfect: It was also a gift for my sister.

After the bouquet was put together, all the girls and my dad went to the diner for lunch. By this point, I was really freaking out. I don't know why, it wasn't cold feet or anything like that. I was really nervous about the logistics of the whole thing... We were supposed to call the owners of the beach where we were getting married to get permission to use the beach after hours. I had called them back in May a few times and left some messages and they never called me back, so we just went ahead and decided to have the ceremony there anyway, because there was only going to be a total of 19 of us actually on the beach for the ceremony, and no decorations or anything like that. I just got scared we'd get in trouble and be kicked off the beach or something. Before that day I was totally carefree, all "Ehh, whatever, we'll just get married in the parking lot..." but for some reason I just got nervous. When we got home from lunch, we all started getting ready and my stomach revolted against me. It was a combination of a bunch of things, the whole kicked-off-the-beach fear, getting married itself, wondering if I remembered to pack everything for Jamaica, missing mom... I was just all over the place. I was upset and scared and a bundle of nerves and I just wanted it to be over, and be married.

Anyway, we all got ready, we all looked beautiful. The girls left about 15 minutes ahead of me and my dad. After they left, we went next door to show Mr. and Mrs. Gallagher what I looked like as a Bride. Mrs. Gallagher cried.

Dad and I left for Point Pleasant and talked all the way there about everything. We both started to get upset over Mom, and we decided to not do that, so we talked about me and Matt, and our future, and when I was a little girl and Daddy used to take me to the beach and ice skating, and about how happy I am that he, Katie, and my mom love Matt so much.

We got to Point Pleasant just behind the girls. It was confusing craziness. I told everyone generally where to meet, and said that Dad and I would meet up with everyone there. I wanted to be inconspicuous, but how inconspicuous can you be walking down the street when you're a Bride? There was a lot of traffic on the street, and everyone was staring at me. Dad and I walked onto one of the side streets to get out of the spotlight. I was on the phone with Stacey who was supposed to give me the OK to go down to the beach. Everyone was waiting for Matt who was, as Stacey said, "Changing in the bathroom," which Dad and I freaked out over because that's illegal. Turns out he was just putting on his shirt. He met up with them on the boardwalk and everyone went on the beach, and Stacey said to "wait 50 seconds" and then walk onto the beach, leading me to believe that everyone was OK to go. Apparently they weren't, because Matt hadn't had a chance to pick the spot, to talk to Pastor Mary about the paperwork or anything, but it all ended up OK. Dad and I walked onto the beach, the photographer snapping pics of us the whole way, and I met Matt on the sand.

From that point until we got our families' congratulations, there was nothing and no one in my world but Matt. My stomach instantly felt better, I wasn't worried about being busted by the Wedding Police, I wasn't concerned about my hair or my streamers or my dress. I just stared at him and cried, so happy to be finally getting married to him, after 6 years and everything we had been through together. Pastor Mary said a wonderful prayer, we exchanged vows and rings, and *poof*, we were married.

Then there were pictures. Peter from Kerjen was absolutely amazing. He got every shot I asked for, had wonderful ideas. We took pictures on the beach for about a half hour with all our family, and the rest of the two hours we had with him we spent alone, walking on the beach and boardwalk, kissing, smiling, "acting natural," and posing all different ways. I can't wait to see those pictures, I think they came out great.

At 9:00 we met everyone at Martell's Sea Breeze for dinner. In attendance: Matt's Dad Rick, Stepmother Nano, brothers Kevin and Mike, Sisters Caitlin and Michelle, his Mom Pam and her boyfriend Rick, and his Best Man Aaron. My Dad, sister Katie, cousin Tara, Grandma, and my best friend Stacey. Very small and intimate dinner. We all ate seafood and cake and had a really nice time. It was so good to be in the company of the people I love the most in the world. I do wish that some other people could have been there, but I just didn't want to get into the "if I invite X, I'll have to invite Y, then Matt will have to invite A and B..." It turned out lovely and I really do hope that no one was offended by not being there. Katie and Aaron gave beautiful, touching speeches about Family and Friendship and Sacrifice and the last 6 years.

After dinner was over, we kissed our family goodbye and walked with Aaron to his car which was all the way at the other end of the boardwalk. Dad drove us home and I gave Katie her flowers, and she gave me two special bottles of wine: one from her trip to France, and one she bought just for us, for a special occasion. I danced in the living room with my father to the song we would have danced together to at the wedding, if we had had one.

Katie and my Dad went to bed, and Matt and I packed up our things and opened the gifts we got, and took a half-hour nap...

Posted all the pics from the shower and wedding that Grandma took. Here they be!

Roll up jellyroll fashion.

July 8th

So I figured I'd write out all the stuff in my brain before I completely loses it. Lots of it is gone already, but I'll do my best. You don't have to read this if you don't want to. It's more for me, and might get boring.

July 8th
I woke up on Saturday morning, after a lovely evening the night before that included a delicious seafood dinner with Matt's mom and boyfriend. I gathered my things and packed my car, making sure I had all my wedding garb and accessories. I kissed my fiance goodbye and told him I'd see him tomorrow - that I'd be the one in the white dress.

Drove down to Matawan and stopped off at Melanie's flowers (by the bowling alley on Rte. 34) to pick up my baby's breath crown that I'd ordered a couple weeks before. I got it and as I was walking out of the store I noticed that it didn't look quite right. I had asked for "really long" streamers (I wanted them to be longer than my hair) but the ones on the crown were pretty short. There was a giant, birthday-package-like bow on the back, and the crown itself was really really thick, when I had asked for smaller and delicate. I took it home anyway, because I thought I was just overreacting and being a bridezilla, something I did NOT want to be.

I got home and showed Dad and Katie. I put it on my head and it fell down around my neck. Dad and Katie were so upset at how it looked, and told me that I was NOT overreacting. I had paid $37 for the stupid thing and it looked like hell. Dad said it perfectly - that it looked like a styrofoam ring. Katie took the crown back to the flower shop to see if they could fix it. She came back about an hour or so later, with no crown. She had taken it back and they did some stuff to it and make it look completely worse - adding ONE streamer to the back, replacing the giant bow with a slightly less giant bow, and actually cutting the baby's breath to make the wreath less thick, resulting in little stems sticking out all over the place. She went to another florist with the crown, told him what had happened and what she wanted. He charged her $15 and said to come back in an hour.

My Aunt was throwing a small bridal shower for me, so we stopped back at the florist on our way there. The crown from the new florist was beautiful, exactly what I wanted. Delicate, long streamers, fit on my head just right. Dad took both of the crowns to the original florist and raised hell. He eventually got my money back. Hooray Dad!

So, the girls went off to Aunt Doris's for the little shower. It was a lot of fun. Who was there: Grandma, Aunt Doris, Fran (my Uncle Pat's Mother-in-Law, but we consider her family), Jeannie and Michelle (Dad's cousin and her daughter), Katie, Tara, and Stacey. We sat in a circle and I opened lots of awesome presents, including a new coffee maker, toaster oven, crock pot, sandwich maker, dishes, towels, utensils, sexy and not-so-sexy lingerie (ALL of which I wore on my honeymoon haha), and a TON of other stuff. Then we ate delicious food, sat on the patio and chatted for a while. It was really a nice day. We got home to my Dad's around 10:30 or so, and me, Katie, Stacey and Tara sat around and talked until about midnight. Stacey went to sleep at her parents' house (Tara was sick so sleeping arrangements were getting kind of complicated) and we all headed to bed.

Next day - wedding day!

All the videos from our camera from Jamaica and Falcon Ridge are done being uploaded and can be found here.

We have videos on our camcorder that we can put online if we buy the cable. Whether or not we'll actually do that is dependant on how lazy we are. They may or may not end up online someday, I don't know, but for now, these are the ones we got. Enjoy. :)

Another Jamaica video, mon.

More soon come.

Falcon Ridge pics here, too.

Falcon Ridge and more Jamaica videos still soon come, mon.

Jamaica pics here.

One Jamaica video here.

More Jamaica videos soon come, mon.